I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
