So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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