It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
