I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize