they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
