she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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