Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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