I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
