i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
