i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
