in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
home. puking in laundry basket.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
