Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
