Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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