he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
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