It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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