Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize