Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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