I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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