Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
