I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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