we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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