I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Randomize
