@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
