just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
