That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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