You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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