loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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