How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
