this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Randomize