drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
A+ Viking dick
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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