i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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