Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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