I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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