i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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