Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
