If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
