wrigley field is MILF paradise
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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