You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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