carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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