i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
