ugly people sure do ruin things
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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