I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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