i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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