My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I have tasted many bathrooms
Such a big mess for such a small penis
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
