Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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