You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
third nipple confirmed
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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