just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
