I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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