i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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