i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
