Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
