So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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