His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
