My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
