remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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