I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Acid is not a monday night drug
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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