you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Sorry about my life...
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize