So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
No...this little piggys going to the bar
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
