Her vagina should come with caution tape.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
