so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
