ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
