theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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