I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
40s are totally the cure
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
