i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
