Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
