It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize