I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
