i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
