The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize
