:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
