I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
