Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
