yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
