Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
