guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Found your dick twin last night
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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