Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
